Instagram is the New Shit (break down of Dubai based “influencers”)

Hello blogsphere, it’s been a while😩, honestly I’ve been so caught up in the Instagram addiction hype, I’ve neglected my blog because who reads this shit anyway. But now the cliche has occurred and I want to blog for myself because that’s how it began, me laughing at my own jokes to help ease the craziness of motherhood 😂.. Talk about one man team. (but a huge thank you to anyone reading!). .

The reason I say Instagram is the New Blog is simply because you can really choose how Long or short you want to caption a picture and no one will care because its just the picture they want to see. Do people even read any more? I for one, definitely read the caption because words are what tell me the story; even if they are some attention seeking rubbish. Over the time of me discovering and trying to grow my page (@mamabasic if ya didn’t know), I’ve learnt that it’s actually a really savage and toxic place if you let it get to you.

I’ll start with the positives before the long list of negatives.
1. It definitely is a great place to grow your “brand” to get exposure and followers and make connections. More and more PR companies are working with just Instagrammers – you don’t even need a blog.

2. It’s a great way to meet people all over the world and make friends who get you. For me, I only really connect to accounts with a wicked sense of humour (similar to me I guess😂).

3. Giveaways! If you didn’t know Instagram giveaways are happening, you are missing out. I’ve taken part in Dubai based giveaways and won some. And they’re easy to follow if you read the caption and follow the rules. Obviously don’t expect to win all the Huda Beauty makeup or anything.

4. EVERYONE advertises on there for events and what’s happening in your area. Facebook is dead. Nowadays we look out for Instastories or posts for events or things to do. Brands or PR companies Direct Message you via your account, so that just shows how much impact Instagram has got.

HOWEVER. Along with it comes the shit things about Instagram especially living in Dubai and having Dubai influencers my “competition”. First of all I’ve noticed so many fake influencers here it’s unreal! The 3 main ways to spot a fake influencer is as follows:

1. Type their Instagram handle name into sites like IGaudit.com or socialblade.com

2. Thousands of followers but only 10 likes on each picture. Alarm bells!

3. In their follow list are many robot or fake accounts. (I.E. Profiles with no photos but following a million people or just dodgy profiles in general)

And although many profiles Dubai based are absolute BS, PR companies will still approach them for events, promotions, free stuff and the really good collaborations.. But HELLO this person will be promoting your brand TO ROBOTS. What a waste of time and energy, but hey ho.

Next up, the drama. Holy crap. Instagramming really brings out the worst in you because you know so much about other people’s life, you make an opinion if it’s right or wrong. Not going to lie, many times I’ve judged mum influencers on Instagram doing something dumb with their child, main one that makes me cringe is kids not strapped with seatbelts on while in a moving vehicle, and THE MUM is filming the hazard for us all to see. Some people have the balls to Direct Message other Instagrammers confronting them, but be aware that it will be screenshotted and posted publicly; showing everyone what a judgey scumbag you are. Some like to spread it amongst other Dubai Instagrammers through wonderful Whatsaap groups ..etc etc. Drama. .. Dubai is a tiny place so it’s really the same bloggers/influencers you see, so your bound to bump into that instagrammer and then you’ll feel awkward. I have had many instances were someone has been an absolute savage and messaged me with hate messages, one of them from a guy who owns a Dubai based PR company too would you believe, talking smack about my content and the memes I create. Nice to know my stuff (which in no way has anything to do with him) affects a founder of a PR company LOL.

The fakeness is real. Or is the realness fake. I have no idea. I watch fully dolled up mothers at an event who just pushed a baby out 10 mins prior. Makeup intact. Nanny on-site. And coffee in hand. I can’t tell you what’s normal here any more. Many say Dubai influencers need to be more ‘real’, others say ‘realness’ is overrated and a picture perfect Instagram photos should be given the credit it deserves. It’s all abit cray.

Some Dubai influencers only care about what the next event is. It’s literally all about attending events and pushing out the SAME content as other Dubai based influencers. I was one of these nob-heads till I got a grip on reality. Ain’t nobody give a shit about the places I’ve been or what’s in my goodie bag🤔 God I HATE watching goodie bag unboxing. Congratulations on all the free tiny samples you worked so hard to snatch.

For some reason, influencers here can attend up to 4-5 events in a day. A breakfast morning event, a launch of some company, a makeup event, a dinner event that you have to review.. and the list goes on. The bizarre thing is that some of them have 5 changes of clothing in their car and change before each event so the pictures look better on their Instagram feed. GOD FORBID if there’s 2 pictures on the tiny squares where you wear the same outfit🙄.. Man that’s dedication I don’t have, since I only have a few oversized tops that actually fit me anyway (long live Primark)..

Although I’m still figuring out what Instagram page I want to be- I’m finding funny videos are effort to make😂..

 

Here’s a quick quiz to find out what kind of Instagrammer you are:

1. You see your favourite mummy Instagramer promote a product you know is shit, do you;

a) Message or comment telling her exactly what you think.

b) Leave it alone, the product probably works on her only.

c) Block and delete that devil soul selling lil shit.

 

2. You’ve noticed your ‘friend’ has increased in 2395 followers in one day, do you;

a) Screenshot it and expose her on your Instagram page.

b) Talk to her privately and ask if she’s been buying followers or what the hell is going on.

c) Get a great pair of imaginary scissors and CUT that h*e out.

 

3.  Scolling through instagram makes you want to

a) Cry. because everyone has a perfect life and you keep comparing your scruffy husband to Channing Tatum.

b) Appreciate other peoples pictures.

c) Zoom in and check the Photoshopping skills because people be fake, walls be fake, and babies eating carrots be fake.

 

  • A’s =  Bro, put down your phone and go for a walk.
  • B’s= You’re kind of ‘meh’ but you do care about the gram deep down.
  • C’s= Savages- I like you. haha.

 

All in all, I’ve learnt that new shiz always happens on the gram everyday and keeping up is abit of a joke, like fake candid pictures of people acting like they can’t see their dedicated Instagram picture taker pointing the camera/phone in their face. The danger on the platform is real, from stalkers, wierdos, mental health issues for the individual and their audience and the very common feeling of ‘not being liked/followed enough’.

Basics: Don’t be an Instagram nobhead.

 

(Anyway if you did read this to the end, thanks! Getting back into writing and it feels good)

7 thoughts on “Instagram is the New Shit (break down of Dubai based “influencers”)

    1. Thank you! Yes Instagram will always show you the amazing/posed side of everything, otherwise God forbid a mummy blogger doesn’t get a certain PR package.. 😒🤣

      Like

  1. Though I have an Instagram as well but I hardly go in there since my post also attached to WP and Instagram. I heard that you can buy followers in Instagram and the truth is I am tempted just for the sake of being “there” as I created my online shop http://www.evemerchstore.com I was also tempted to pay an influencer to promote my store but I knew I will spend heaps of money that I can afford to… so I just use my own blog instead. Thanks for your post as I get a little glimpse of how they do it.

    Like

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