Expat mama in Dubai: FAQ’s

I’m always being asked rather silly questions after I mention that I live in Dubai. Now I have no clue as to if people are genuinely oblivious to the answers or they’re taking the piss. Soo here are the most frequently asked questions answered. Prepare to be mind blown..

1. What’s the capital of Dubai?

Please look a map, thanks.. there is no capital of Dubai.

2. Can women drive? 

Yes, but on camels only.. like so..

3. Do you have to wear the burka? 

Nope.

4. Is everyone rich? 

I wish. Yes there’s no tax and there are wealthy people living here like but for the rest of us it’s cheese sandwiches for dinner.

5. Is it safe for women? 

One of the safest place on Earth.. unless you’re doing something stupid then I don’t know.

6. Are you use to the heat?

 Personally no, but maybe others are?

7. But can people actually survive the heat?

I’m living proof.. sign me up for an award please thanks.

8. Is Abu Dhabi the capital of Dubai? 

Guys repeat after me, Dubai is not a country, Dubai is not a country!

9. Does everyone have lamborghini’s?

Yes, mine is parked in my imaginary 50ft garage made from fairy dust and unicorn poop 🙂

10. Will there be an upside down sky scraper? 

So some articles have been saying this (1) but sounds like a load of BS to me. After parachuting out, how do you get back in? What if you go out and the tower is in another city? How can it be built over Dubai if it’s floating? So manyyyy questionssss..

11. Are there vending machines with gold bars? 

That one is actually true, yes.

At Dubai Mall

And apparently there’s a laptop vending machine too!

12. If you give birth there, does the baby get a UAE passport? 

Not unless the baby has an arab local father, otherwise the baby’s passport will be whatever the parents nationality is.

13. So there’s no alcohol or pork?

 There is. You need a licence stating your religion allows it. So if you’re muslim then don’t bother applying.

14. Street races are allowed right? 

No. Fast and Furious is just a movie. Here the coppers are faster than you will ever be.

Basically don’t bother

15. Is the water real?

Well it’s not fake.

16. How cheap is the patrol/gas?

Cheaper than a bottle of water.

17. Are you besties with Huda Beauty? 

Yes we camp together in Sephora.

18. Can you go out to a restaurant with your husband? 

Only if you we sit on seperate tables and have no eye contact, yes.

19. Do you not get sick of sand everywhere?

20. Do “they” speak English?

Yes “they” do. In an accent maybe but still English.

21. So your always on holiday/vacation?

Pretty much. Minus working, cooking and cleaning.

22. Is there regular food there? 

Nope. We eat hummus for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.. yes there’s regular food, infact theres food from every country. How bow dah. (Sorry I hate that girl but the meme stuck in my head erghh)

23. But how do you survive the heat?

Air conditioning people.

24. Does it rain in Dubai?

Not often but when it does, it doesn’t rain, it pours.

25. Is it really strict there? Because of, you know, Islam?

Ummm no? Prepare for what I am going to tell you next.. there are temples, churches and synagogues here! *mindblown*

26. Are women seen as second class citizens? 

Ladies nights. Free drinks. Send help.

On a serious note, Dubai is a STATE in the United Arab Emirates. It’s pretty liberal, women are respected, it’s diverse and we don’t sleep in bunkers. Women are asked to be dressed modestly in areas like the mall or goverment buildings, which is basically covering the shoulders and from the knee up. It’s really not that bad. Besides I’ve seen women in see-through hot pants and nothing happened. 

#dab

#dubaiisnotsaudi

#dubaiftw

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