Easter Holidays; the Reality

Bubba’s 2 week Easter Holiday is over! WAHEEEY!

I had all these great ideas to make it fun but I’ve developed paranoia because the kid keeps popping in through my legs while I’m on the bog, asking for a snack.. 

Here’s some insight of the past 2 weeks :

–> Let’s bake cupcakes! Back when I had a life, I was an expert baker! Bubba’s gonna love this.

Reality: After an hours tantrum crying over the ‘broken egg’, I’m left to sob a little while scrubbing everything including my hair and eyebrows. The cupcakes are gone. Half are eaten and half are being used to draw on the sofa, because crumbs flying around are special effects don’t you know. He’s now yelling like an angry, crum-my, naked, migit hulk monster on a sugar rush because he wants more.. obviously. Efffff that.. gonna leave him with his dad and leg it to the loo.. (to hide).. but right on queue, the other one has woken up. It’s like babys know when you need a wee (pretend or not) or about to eat something because that’s when they decide to take the biggest shit known to man, or cry. #Everytime

So now he’s crying, she’s crying, I’m crying, we’re all crying.. all because I wanted cake. 

–> Let’s play with playdough!

Reality: He starts to make tiny playdough balls and starts a treasure hunt.. expect the treasure hunt is not for me but for the cat. So now I’m de-playdoughing the cat, hoping he doesn’t die from playdough poisoning, whilst having a human dangling from my boob and wondering how did the last 5 minutes just destory my life?

–> I saw on Pinterest a really cool idea for messy play using just corn flour and water. Sounds fun!

Reality: Corn flour everywhere. Water everywhere. Messy fingers everywhere. Instead of playing with it, the kid shouts “painting!” And dumps the lot on my lap. And that was that activity…

–> We shall have healthy balanced meals with no chicken nuggets in sight! This should be easy..

Reality: After bribing him with chocolate biscuits to sit down, he’s crying because there are actual visable vegtables in the pasta. Now it’s the wrong water bottle, he wants the PAW Patrol one not the Tommy Tippe one, are you not listening?! I’ve given up and shoved chicken nuggets in the grill because it’s healthier than frying, so that counts right? Minus the chocolate biscuits.. well it’s Easter so it’s allowed okay

–> Let’s have a civilised meal in a restaurant like a real family..

Nope. Resulted in grievous bodily harm, so Burger King drive-thru and dining in la car de resturanté whilst driving back home it is.

–> we’ll go to softplay!

Reality: After having the house looking like a pigsty from trying to find where he dumped his shoes, 346 boobie feeds for the other child, stress level waaaay over the roof and sweat pouring from my clevage laterrr.. we walk through the front door aaaand he decides to pour the orange juice (that he threw a fit earlier, demanding to hold it) allll over himself.. 

Sod it. 

Shower using sprinklers it is.

And he had an effing blast.

Should’ve just done that everyday. 


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