Several mamas who are currently pregnant with their second or thinking about a second baby, have asked me how my pregancy was alongside an active toddler and any advice I can offer.. so this ones for you ladies..
I found I hardly paid attention to the second pregnancy and I felt bad about it all the time! With the first pregnancy I was soo excited, doing all these things every pregnancy book would suggest and every study that showed best improvement in the foetus.. hell if you rambled on about garbage and shoved ‘Dr’ infront of your name, I would be all ears like yaaaas let’s do a trible fertility dance with incent sticks up my vag.. right now!
I’d read Harry Potter books outloud to the feotus as if he understands that Dobby is a free elf GOD DAMN IT… but during the second pregnancy, my brain was waaayy to scrambled to tell the time let alone read a sentence.. Everyday catering to a toddler and singing Humpty flipping Dumpty 45853 times a day, on request of his royal highness .. there isn’t much of my human brain left..
Having no time to give attention to being pregnant isn’t so much of a bad thing mamas. The baby is listening to your toddlers tantrums and probably will pop out singing Humpty Dumpty..
what more do you need? 😂 ..
Unfortunately worrying was a big chunk of the second pregnancy.. how the F do you look after a baby AND a cray toddler? I’d always wonder; how do single parents do it? How did the older generations with 7 kids and a husband at work all day do it? Or those with twins? Or triples? Or like quadruplets? .. *hyperventilating*
I’d always worry how would I cope because I feel like looking after 1 kid is a different kind of hard.. the him taking a shit in the middle of Costa then legging it with the nappy changing bag – kinda hard.. and then a baby plonked in the picture somewhere ..? Yikes
This negative thinking about everything turns out to be normal! I think us mamas give ourself a hard time and don’t realise we got this shit downnn.. on lockkk .. sealedddd (does that one work or nah?) ..now that I’ve had my baby, juggling two kids isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.. I mean the house is still standing.. therefore we can do this! You just got to figure out easy ways to stick to the routine your toddler is already in .. couple of things I do are as follows:
- Cook bulk and freeze. Whatever I cook, I Google how to make it safe for freezing. Sometimes it means freeking cooked or freezing uncooked or flash freezing before shoving in a freezer bag..etc.. so just Google it.. (top tips) ..headache avoided..
- Muffin tray meals. I use a muffin tray to make small portion meals. Easy to freeze and easy to reheat! Mini pies, mini baked omelette, mini anything! Just Pinterest some ideas. Really saves me time and energy.. win win!
- Milk time treats. Milk time for baby can be upsetting for bubba (jealousy you see) so I put on a game or video on my phone, tablet or TV or give him a yummy treat or give him a couple of my shoes to try on.. basically anything that works. You gotta do what you gotta do..
- Toddler duties. I give bubba jobs to do for his baby sister while I quickly sort her out. For example I ask him to bring her a nappy while I quickly change her clothes or ask him to get her socks while I change her nappy. The couple of minutes he stands there confused as to why the peasant is making demands to his highness, is the key!
Okay so this one used to baffle me. How do I half my love to both kids? Might sound daft but my first kid is number 1 and I love him as deep as I hate Donald egghead Trump, which is a lot btw .. so how does this work without me favouring one kid over the other?.. maybe it will just happen once I’ve given birth right?..
Welllll it didn’t. I’m not going to sugar coat it coz I aint about that life, but I still felt like my love wasn’t equally halved and I was afraid.. like shiit is this how its gonna be?
Well mamas don’t worry if this happens to you aswell because 2 months in, the love has developed and now I don’t feel shitty about it no more..
As I decided to give birth in Dubai, most of my pregancy was in Dubai too which ment I craved all the foods of my hometown in the UK that I couldn’t find here.. mainly the laaaavely southen fried chicken and chip shops.. mmmm.. Here it doesn’t taste the same.. *sobs*
This is a tough one because obviously you will crave things from your hometown because your tastebuds remember errything.. best thing to do is shop in the international sections of the supermarkets and pick up some items that will remind you of home. For me it was good ole digestive biscuits… lots of digestive biscuits.. dunk it in tea and it’s heaven! And trust me that little bit of heaven helps your mood when the toddler is pissing you off.. Just think about all the snacks you can munch when s/he sleeps ..mmmm..
Worried about labour
I read so many times in books and websites that the second time around labour will be easier but lets face it, it’s still the painful unknown doooom.. noone knows what’s gonna happen but you know it’s coming and it’s gonna hurt like a b*+€#. AND you’re worried about the toddler.. how’s s/he gonna survive without you? In my case, being an expat, I have no family in Dubai so I was freaking out!
I would say sort the toddler out first.. Arrange someone to babysit, stock the fridge with food, write down their daily routine ..etc. The hardest part for me was I have trust issues. Seeeerious trust issues. So I was only happy with my husband looking after the lil one BUT I wanted him as my birth partner aswell. Luckly I went into labour at night so I had my maid babysitting while I check in every now and then on the baby monitor, that we can access via our smartphones. YAY for technology! .. Nursery during the day really helped too! So be prepared.
Download all the distractions to get you through as much of the labour as possible.. because you will start getting flashbacks of the previous labour .. loorrrrd have mercy! .. it seriously helps that your hips are widened already and your body is well prepped from before, but theres no way it hurt less .. BUT it was quicker for me..
so there is hope ladies..
at least you’ve done it before so you know you can do it again!
Good luck mamas!
Enjoy it while you still can!