Flying with a Baby for the First Time?

BREATHEE. I got you covered with a few tips.. You’re probably shitting it but YOU WILL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!

1. Whenever possible, buy a seat for your baby, because that way you can put a car seat there and not worry when your little one is asleep, unlike the flimsy bassinets. A car seat ensures proper safety, but lugging that car seat everywhere, just to have your baby cry to be held anyway, is a pain in the back side. If you also chose to keep baby on your lap then take a U shaped pillow to help you with support.

2. BUY A BABY WRAP/CARRIER. Seriously it will save your life! Some people opt for wraps but personally I LOVE carriers like the Ergo 360, but me, I swear by my BabyBjorn body harness. It’s a little pricey but I’ve done 5 flights with it and have ever got a backache or worry that the kid might chew his way out and still look good (plus it hides any mess/milk/vomit on your shirt; your welcome). Especially when they take your buggy, you’re left having to hold your baby from when you land till the baggage claim area. Or even going through security, you’re not asked to remove the baby from the carrier but you are asked to do that in a buggy, even if the little one is asleep 😑. It’s a total nightmare! Queuing, waiting, getting passport checked, security etc etc.. And lets not forget, it’s hands free! Which mum doesn’t want to be hands free, seriously, it’s a no brainer!

This is the BabyBjon Baby Carrier One; I highly recommend. 

3. Pack EVERYTHING. Spare clothes, spare socks, spare baby food/milk, spare sterilising tablets, shit loads of nappies, spare baby wipes, eff it, shove that baby blender in too.

4. Be nice and make friends with your neighbours. You probably want a Nanny Mcphee sat next to you that will blow raspberries and solve all your baby’s troubles by playing peek-a-boo with your baby.. well FORGET IT. The likelihood of a lady who has a face as if her bum is on fire is much much higher. And she will probably give you shitty death stares or worse, roll her eyes. That really grinds my gears! (By this point you will realise you used to be the jerk on a plane complaining about a baby and now here you are). But you will slowly develop the art of not giving a shit and making friends with them anyway. Some people have a problem with babies no matter if your in a supermarket or a plane. But your neighbours don’t know what a sweetheart your baby is and the same  jerks that looked pissed will be impressed when you land, because you and your baby kick ass and now everyone knows it!

5. “Baby Changing Facilities” on board is basically a shelf in half a phonebox with a sink and draws. Always hold our baby and shove something soft under and above your babies head because there’s a 1mm gap before the plane jolts and the baby’s hid his head and now you gotta deal with screams, tears, urine, feaces, AND that inconsiderate twat banging in the door every 2 seconds.

4. DO NOT take an expensive pram and/or car seat. Better off buying a light-weight second hand one because little do u know, once you check in or the umpa-lumpas take it from outside the plane, it disappears to a WWF ring where Stone Cold Steve Austin throws a couple of smackdowns before handing it over to the bagging crew that drag it through the runway (on purpose) and have the plane run over it  few times. When you are in the bagging claim area at your destination, you will find your buggy (or just a wheel) on a different area completely than the rest of your luggage or just plain missing. Every effing time. Main reason why you need the kid in a baby wrap/carrier. wink wink.

6. Use whatever you can to distract your baby; the TV, ipad, phone.. you name it. Yeah I know its bad, blah blah blah, but survival is survival…

7. Protect the ears. Feed your baby at take off and landing times or use a pacifier, especially due to air pressure popping the ears. Although many times my little one has been asleep during those time while I’m waiting for the crying to start at any second. Surprisingly that trip, he didn’t wake up till we were at the hotel. So just be prepared and keep your baby sucking something.

8. Finally, if all fails, remember it will all be over soon 😊

Basic must-have: de-stressing technique..*woooosaaaa*

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